I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
this is an emotional support booty call
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
