Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
