shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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