doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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