Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
