he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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