these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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