Ambien. No doubt about it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
