Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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