He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
