can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
