Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So many bounce houses so little time
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
