are you still at the devil's house?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize