Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
