covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
