She's JV to your varsity
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
