call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
