So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
