my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
