Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
