i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize