I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
