Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
