even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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