Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
