Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
As shirtless as possible
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You pole danced in your parka.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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