My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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