Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
