uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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