next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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