I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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