Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
