YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
