Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize