I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
