hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
