5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
