she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize