It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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