One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
