Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
