I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
