I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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