wanna go halves on a baby?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
