this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
