Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
