apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
