The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize