maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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