I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
