weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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