She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
