Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
