Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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