Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
