its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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