so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
