I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
