yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
