I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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