She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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