Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Alive.
So much puke
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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