Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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