i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
