is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize