i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
