apparently the secret to your success is patron
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
