spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
