I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
