Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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