____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't put those talents on a resume
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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