These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize