We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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