Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
