sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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